But wise in the end. Every action has a reaction, that’s all I say about that.

I’m also someone who has never cheated on anyone before – however, that’s not to say I haven’t previously struggled not to, so for that reason I don’t judge someone who slips up. That said, that someone better not be my boyfriend, I make it clear that my attitude is to treat someone how you would wish to be treated yourself. Simples. Also, I don’t do it because I couldn’t live with myself after, and I know that. Now I’m in my thirties, I also know that it is never as clear cut as it looks. And it makes a big (giant) difference if there are kids involved – it is devastating to them, never mind the big grown ups who can look after themselves.

http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com

If you rant about how much you hated them anyway and the cheatee would be better off without them and provide various examples of the cheater’s cheatiness or dickiness or assholeness and-

1: they DON’T take them back, the cheatee will wonder/ask why you’ve never said anything before/while the cheatee was cheated upon and got hurt and you’ve basically been a two-face this WHOLE time. They’ll never trust anything you say ever again. Even if it’s about clothes, a movie or a new flavour of ice cream. Lose.

2: they DO take them back. Shit. You can’t un rant and the cheatee will eventually stop being your friend because the taken back cheater is wary of you and your bloody opinions. The cheatee thinks you hate their re-partner. You’re a danger to their fragile re-relationship. Lose.

3: they find out it was YOU as the co-cheater or enabler of the cheating. Be ready for the biggest verbal assault of. you. life. Lose.

Just be supportive, be some ears, be a sounding board but don’t enable gross amounts of self pity and wallowing and loathing. Be honest and provide an opinion when you feel the cheatee is at a point where they can process it well. As in, not raging like a bull at a red flag. As for the cheater. Avoid. Keep your mouth shut. Be civil but let it be known you are not impressed with their sneaky ways.

THIS was the point I was meant to make :)

When it comes to cheating [having been cheated on, it sucks btw and having my closest friend cheated on this year, which also sucks] I have a fair idea that it sucks for the cheatee. It is taken personally, that you are broken, not good enough, obviously shit and unworthy of love. You will be angry, upset, left without any clue of what the fuck REALLY went wrong, when, where, how or why. You may go numb. You will act like you don’t care and are better off. This will probably be a lie. You will act out, over indulge in something and hate the cheater and his co-cheater. You will over analyze. You may go hangi-pants for a while. You may become a recluse. You will over analyze some more with friends. And alcohol. You’ll text/call/bump into the cheater. You may sleep with them again. You will regret it. You’ll consider taking them back and create different scenarios of how/when/where it will happen. You come up with pre-determined conversational topics and responses for different possible encounters with the cheater. You will try and change yourself because your previous un-cheated on self, was flawed. You will often wonder if the cheater ever thinks of you and is pining and knowing they made a mistake. You have to make awkward small talk and employ aversion techniques for shared friends. You become obsessed with looking/being awesome to show the cheater what they are missing out on: you’ll do more ‘fun’ stuff with more ‘fun’ people and tag the living shit out of photos of you having more ‘fun’ on Facebook. Inside, you’re a mess you just wants a cuddle on the couch in your Jim Jams. You try to provide reasons why they cheated on you and excuse their behaviour. It was all your fault anyway. You will never get over it, as such. The cheater has given you a nice overstuffed suitcase of emotional baggage. Let’s hope not an std.
As for the cheater, it doesn’t really suck but does make shit harder to do. Some people will be mean to you. There are obvious Teams now amongst your friends and family. Mum will tell you you’ve made a mistake/the right choice. It feels good, your new piece is hot but comments from others will put a dent in your day. It sucks you have to avoid going to some places because you don’t want to deal with the co-cheater and the cheatee meeting: and you really liked going there. Then you think, fuck it, I’m going anyway, the cheatee is probably a mess and I really want to go there. If it was a ‘mistake’ cheat, a ‘one-off’ you will feel bad. Real bad. But you can’t change it and you can’t undo it. This sucks. The cheatee is going to hold this over you for the rest of your life. What were you thinking? Immediate gratification was what you were thinking. Consequence did not factor because you didn’t care. Cheating is the ultimate act of selfishness. You are number one. I want this now. Nothing else factors in. For a split second, you say no but then obviously, you failed. You have impulse control issues. You hope they take you back without it ever being thrown in your face, the past rehashed…but it will. The relationship is now broken. If you are married, have children you are definitely going to have to try and nut it out. Even if you aren’t/don’t and want to keep the cheatee in your life, the same rule applies. If you are a strong person who truly loves the cheatee and wants to make it work, you are going to have to let them hate you, get angry at you and keep your mouth shut until they trust you. Ban all ties with the co-cheater ALL of them. Don’t answer comparison questions, no matter how much the cheatee begs you to. It will not be pretty. You will never EVER let it happen again. You must be prepared for the fact that they may take you back for a while but it might end.
Or they may cheat on you.

Cheating is not bad to a serial cheater, it alludes to being more of a sport. A leisurely pursuit. Hence why it seems to be popular. Serial cheaters, people who get something rewarding out of cheating cannot be fixed and will not change. Rats/Maze/Cheese.

We are all capable of cheating. Grass greener. Keeping up with that Jones lot. Retaining youth. Mid life crises. Boredom. Lack of self respect. Reduced ability to empathise. Selfishness. Lack of accountability. If you cannot commit to one person, don’t: but do not pursue those who are committed and do not lead others to believe this is exclusive. Don’t promise anything to anyone. Make it clear from the outset that you are a free spirit. If you are in a relationship but are unsure [ready to cheat] grow some balls, talk to the other person, air your grievances and be ready for conflict. It’s going to happen. It’s going to hurt them and you: BIG time. It will either get sorted then and there or you will part ways and you can find someone else WITHOUT cheating.

If you are emotionally cheating, this is the same as physically cheating. Don’t do it. Talk to your person of significance. Sort it out.

I say try an opinion/advice on to see if it works. If it does not, get angry/upset/drunk/high/analytical-with-a-friend-or-family-member then try something else. THIS is not cheating, this is coping.