Another week, another Friday night on the Top Model grind. This week we found ourselves witnessing a little bit of drama (Did they accuse Tyne of being bulimic?, didn’t they?, who cares?) and a whole lot of tears while the girls faced their fears. (THAT RHYMES.) Personally, I’ve become a bit disinterested in the show. I think I’m waiting for someone to pull out the big guns, and until then, I’m yet to be impressed, here’s hoping for next week.
And here’s some things we learned this episode:
- Colin can pull out the big guns when he wants to: “Your’e an anaemic bore” (on Hillary). The show needs a bit of this. I’m claiming it as the highlight.
- Spookers came across as the tamest sh*t ever. I, personally, have been wanting to visit Spookers for years. Literally years. I have badly been wanting someone to scare the crap out of me in an ex-mental institute. After Friday night, not so much.
- Sara still out-beauties most of the contestants. I’m watching the show in HD and it’s incredible, you can literally see the girls’ teenage skin being, well, teenage… Sara, on the other hand – flawless.
- Um okay, what is with the styling and creative direction behind all the photographs this season? (Bar the ones they shot with Vinnie Woolsten in Episode 4). Don’t we want the girls to look good? Don’t we want them to look like faces and bodies to aspire to? This week’s photographs kind of look like brand ads for an eco-friendly, New Zealand company. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I think we can do better than this. We can do better! We can go more fashion. Let’s go more high end! Let’s take it to a whole ‘nutha level guys!
- AJ (above). I’m still vouching for her. She’s kind of an oversharer, kind of a weirdo and kind of annoying, but I’m still predicting her to make top 5, based on that face of hers and that intense look she can somehow pull out of the bag. I also think she has good lips. I do think she looks kind of fricken ridiculous in that get-up of hers, but I’m telling you now – top 5 baby.
- The judges didn’t really rate Aroha-’I-like-my-breasts’ photo this week, but it was one of my favourites soley based on that look on her face. I don’t think any other girl got that look this week, that sort of knowing look. If you put your hand over the screen and cover everything but her face, you’ll get what I mean. That girl got game. (Unfortunately though, I’m pretty sure that girl’s game is up – I reckon she’s going home before we reach top 5. Soz.):
- Blah blah blah, Rosanagh has a great face, can’t take a bad photo, blah blah blah, top 3. (PS: Look at her left hand. How weird does it look?) :
- Arihana is kind of a hippy fruit cake. She’s fully got a ‘look’ – there’s no denying you wouldn’t spot her face in a crowd. Her photo doesn’t make me want to kill myself. This is positive. That fur thing on her head kind of does though. Hmm. One other thing to say about this photo: either her nipples have been photoshopped out, or she is wearing extremely good seamless underwear – in which case, where did she get them from? I need some:
- I love, love, love Brigette (below), but this photo sh*ts me to tears. She’s supposed to be kind of sexy, right? Why isn’t she working it?! And there’s something weird going on with her mouth. And those chandelier-type earrings? Come on. For fricks sake. Oh wait, I just noticed the puffer collar on her blazer. That’s it. I can’t even talk about this anymore.
- Issy is the bro of the house. There’s no denying it. But being the bro of the house does not mean you are a good model. Here she is some kind of Pocahontas-type character. Snaps for not flinching with a butterfly her face. Anti-snaps for the upward head-tilt. I don’t know why but that upward head-tilt is definitely not doing it for me. But snaps for how far she’s come so far. I don’t think she’s gonna win, but she’s done well. Snaps all ’round, guys. Snaps all ’round:
- Ohhhh Bianca. It’s not your fault they stuck you in this wack outfit. But it is kind of your fault that you look bored. I hate to say it, but you look a little ordinary in this photo. I’m indifferent. This is not a good thing:
- I don’t mind this photo of Hillary, but it does really remind me of how much I hate that haircut they gave her. I don’t think she’s got the model ‘look’. I do however, think she would be an amaaaazing presenter. Think C4 or ULive or some other youth show that I can’t name right now. Someone get that girl an agent! (Also, this is kind of unrelated to the photo, but she looks short on the tele. Not good.):
- I dislike this photo muchly. Good use of mascara, bad use of fake tarantula. Good use of chicken fillets, bad use of hair styling techniques. Tyne for her to go home. (LOL! See what I did there?!):
Onto next week, where everyone’s favourite boy fashion blogger, Isaac Hindin Miller, will be making his debut Top Model appearance. Finally. I can’t say what is going to happen (partially because I don’t know) but I can say you’d better be watching.
(On a semi-related Top Model note, I saw season 2′s hellraiser, Dakota, on Saturday night. She was working at that late night burger joint at the bottom of town, Velvet Burger. I don’t know what this means or what else to say about this. That is all.)