Here we are again. What did we learn this week? A couple of things – mainly that Colin wears a lot of make-up, but wears it better than most girls, that Sara looks fricken amazing during the judging (I don’t know how old she is but she either has some winning, winning genes or there has been some good airbrushing going on during the show. I’m watching it in HD and she still looks incredible.), and that sometimes you watch the show on a Friday, then by the time Sunday rolls around, you’ve actually forgotten what happened. Which is what has happened to me. So let me just go right ahead and critique the photos instead:
- You know what? I’ve been staring at these photos for a good 85 minutes now, and they’re all kind of starting to look the same. The brief was to be fun, and sassy and match the car or whatever, but who really pulled that off apart from AJ? And did she pull it off or does she just kind of look like some crazed show-girl? And is that what they were going for? It’s so hard to say. Top Model can be way too clever for me sometimes.
- Brigette (above) is a little boring and has an Australian accent but let’s face it, her whole look screams ‘model’ already. She’s gotta make the top 3. She’s got a face and body that could actually get work after this show, despite the fact that she’ll be tainted with the ‘I was a contestant on New Zealand’s Next Top Model’ brush. Her photo is good, but she does look kind of awkward. And her dress doesn’t quite match the car. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does.
- Why did they paint their hair like that? WHY? It all screams ‘Wearable Art Awards’ to me. I get they want the dresses and accessories to match the car, but the painted hair is way too weird for me. This applies to all photos this week, including Arihana even though they didn’t paint her hair.
- You know what? I used to like Tyne, but for some reason I have gone off her. This photo of her is pretty good, but I’m still not convinced by her. I think maybe it’s that haircut. Or maybe it’s just her face. I don’t know, but based on this uneasy feeling, I’m going to say although I think she will go far in the competition, I don’t think she’ll quite make top 3:
- Rosanagh’s a babe. No denying it. Those cheekbones are they kind that people kill for. I doubt her face would ever produce a bad photo. This is kind of crude, but I have one word for this picture: ‘Tittays.’ It’s pretty early to call, but I reckon she’s gonna make top 3:
- I’ve been complaining about how Arihana is too edgy, too hippy, too ‘one look’ to be in this competition, and whilst I still agree with it and think she’ll be kicked off within the next 5 episodes, I do kind of like this photo of her. It’s like a really dramatic, less-cute version of that Marilyn Monroe shot. If there was such a thing as a sophisticated upskirt (I’m not sure if there actually is), I think this might be it. I don’t know if it’s her in particular, but the car-lean and the wind in the dress is actually kind of awesome:
- Why is it that all the girls look like flamenco dancers? And while we’re at it, is there a secret hidden code in each of the numberplates? So many unanswered questions.
- Issy doesn’t look like Issy here. I’m impressed with the way they’ve been able to disguise her half shaved head this whole season thus far. I can’t tell if it means the cut is working for her or if it isn’t, and that’s why they never feature it. Also, the all black outfit makes her kind of look like a ninja in this photo. I like that:
- AJ brought her special kind of crazy to the shoot. I think she’s got a good sellable look in this photo – and kudos to her for being able to smile and really work the commercial angle – but the orange and the car and the hair and everything just makes her look like Ronald McDonald on crack:
- Aroha looks pretty here. Kind of like the wind is blowing her over – look at her shoe. Her face is good also. I don’t know if it’s an interesting enough photo to be a winner, though. It’s nice, but boring. And there’s nothing worse than boring:
- Ugh. As much as I like Bianca and think she has top 5 potential, this photo of her does nothing for me. In fact, it does less than nothing. When I look at it, all I can think of is ‘armpit sniff’. Armpit sniff. That and the fact that it kind of makes her look wide across the shoulder or something. Like a swimmer. Or a waterpolo player. Ugh:
- Hillary has the best personality, but this just says to me ‘let me reach down and adjust my undies’. Plus the dress looks weird. There’s this bit at the front that’s billowing out, and then there’s this sort of other random bit flying out the back. And what is that weird thing coming over her shoulder?
- Goodbye Amber. I have said enough about Amber. It’s too bad she just didn’t have the energy to really work it in this competition. She is proof that while good genes are a huge part of it, sometimes they just aren’t enough when it comes to modelling. I’d like to take this opportunity to gloat and say, um hello, I called this shizz weeks ago. That is all.
PS: For a more extensive review of the show that doesn’t just involve a whole bunch of complaining, make sure you check out The Corner. (They usually post theirs the Monday/Tuesday following the show.)