Me yesterday, not that this has anything to do with New Year’s.
So here’s the thing. It’s 5:54pm on the 31st of December and I’m typing this post on my iPhone in the car. We’re in kind of a rush, we’re off to a New Year’s dinner/drinks thing and the whole day I’ve thought I’d have time to prep food and have a shower and a nap and get this blog post out before we had to leave. I was wrong. Also, the charger to my laptop is dead so I haven’t been able to use it for a week. I hope this whole phone post thing will work because I’ve never done it before and I am basically doing some stream of consciousness type shit right now.
I’ve been taking weird notes on my phone for a few days, trying to think of what to talk about when discussing New Year’s Eve. For some strange reason I have “Maypole” written down – it doesn’t really relate to the turn of the year but I just remember how great it was to swing around on one of those things. Incredibly freeing. I don’t know if they exist anymore, the one in my intermediate school was taken out, presumably because they’re too dangerous. Generally speaking I kind of hate New Year’s Eve. There’s too much pressure and the night is never as good as everyone is making it out to be. It used to stress me out quite a lot – “What are you doing for New Year’s?” was a phrase I hated, but now I’m old and I guess I got too tired of worrying about it, being anxious of whether other people would think my plans were cool or not.
One year, a few years ago, I remember I spent New Year’s Eve in my bed, my then-boyfriend asleep next to me. He wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to do anything anyway. It hit 11.45pm and I remember opening the blinds to look for fireworks outside. I felt pretty sad at the time, the relationship was falling apart, I was in this stupid bed, lying there, staring at the ceiling and it wasn’t even midnight. We broke up 2 months later.
Funnily enough, I broke up with my boyfriend prior to that one a few days before New Year’s Eve, two years earlier. Maybe that’s why I’ve got ill feeling towards the holiday. That was kind of a strange situation. The breakup itself was quite amicable. After 4.5 years the whole thing had run its course and we were both sad, but relieved. Several months earlier we had RSVP’d yes to his friend’s wedding on the 2nd of January somewhere near Wellington so we decided to just not tell anyone about the breakup and fake it until after the wedding. I remember sitting at our table during the reception, listening to the speeches, the reality of the breakup hitting me and tears pouring down my face. One guy made a comment to my boyfriend, something like “girls at weddings ay, always crying”. The actual New Year’s Eve was one of my best, though, surprisingly. I had finally gotten to the point where I was getting along with my exes friends, enough so that I felt comfortable and happy to be there. We had drinks and good chats and there was no drama.
I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, but it’s coming to an end because I am at the point where I’m so nauseous from typing and reading in the car that I’m probably going to throw up.
On that note, hope you have a good one, I’ll see you on the flip side (aka 2015).